BABY MAMAS AND BABY DADDIES WAR IN THE CELEBRITIES WORLD: WHOSE FAULT?

“You wanna know what’s worse than a child being told his/her parents irresponsibility and negligence towards them, and then seeing a child growing to understand it by him/herself? Seeing is believing my people. Karma is as real as it gets. Be careful how you lay your bed in this present day, because the seed you sow now, determines if you ever get a bed to lay on in the future. Be wise and YOLO with sense.”- Shola Ogudu, Wizkid's first baby mama (THISDAY, 2018)

Fame and wealth without doubt draw public attention to individuals that worked their way to stardom or are privileged to attain fame. With the celebrity tag, one is tasked to live up to expectations of the public, a celebrity hardly keep secret due to the ever present paparazzi quick to report a celebrity’s life to the public. Male celebrities are confronted with the challenge of having many female fans, its a problem because these fans go as far as sending nude pictures to these celebrities, they flaunt around in club houses with seductive moves to lure these celebrities to bed for one night stand, quickie, or trap them with pregnancy into lifetime bond or baby daddy role as a result of the offspring. It is equally important to  note that some male celebrities prefer to have baby mamas because they believe women come after their wealth not love, some are scared of what they stand to loose if divorce sets in. Female celebrities are also confronted with the challenge of having male fans but unlike their male folks, their male fans are scared of making advances to them due to their low financial status in the society, female celebrities sometimes end up as wives or baby mamas to men of equal status based on their choice. Female celebrities’ main challenges in the entertainment industry are sexual harassment, unequal competitive ground and host of other challenges, that is not our topic for today though.

In recent times, baby mamas on social media have blasted their baby daddies with claims that they do not live up to responsibilities as fathers with notable examples as popular Nigerian music star Ayodeji Ibrahim Balogun popularly known as Wizkid baby mamas calling him out on social media, and Israeli based Nigerian football star John Ogu’s baby mama also accusing him of not being there for his daughter after separating with him. Most of these women hinge their accusations on the fact that these men fail to be physically present when their kids need them most. Male celebrities blame their lack of physical presence to work in other to ensure their kids have better life when they grow up. The bust up between baby mamas and baby daddies can be blamed on absence of love between both parents, men’s irresponsibility, women’s gold-digging attitude, and public interference amongst other factors.

''A deadbeat dad tells everyone he loves and misses his kids but makes no efforts to see them. He refuses to help support his children to better their lives. He doesn’t put his kids on his priority list but he will for someone else’s kids. So next time you hear say how much he loves and misses his kids, ask when the last time that he saw them.''- Binta Diallo, Wizkid's second baby mama (THISDAY, 2018).

The bond for any union between a man and woman is love and trust, and when absent, things are bound to get wrong. A man will hardly visit a woman he has no love and affection for and since the kids have better care with the mothers, men feel all they need do is fund the child’s upkeep. Women on the other hand find it hard not to rain abuses and nag at men they feel have hurt their emotions in the past and left them feeling less. Most times when baby daddies visit their baby mamas, the outcome is usually brutal to the child’s mental upbringing. It is very difficult for a man with kids from different women to pay attention to their upbringing, it is easier with a wife he loves and trusts, she will defend his inadequacies but a baby mama will hardly do that due to the absence of love and trust. Having a baby mama is not as beautiful as the way it is presented in movies, it comes with a lot of responsibilities and both parties find it hard to device means to raise the child properly.

Men’s irresponsibility is another major reason for misunderstandings between baby mamas and baby daddies. There are celebrities that hit stardom at a very young age especially footballers who on most occasion are from the streets and barely know what the responsibilities of a father entails. When the kids come, they fail to recognize its time to flirt less and concentrate on family. Women with natural multitasking ability and the pain of bearing a child find it difficult to look aside the role of child upbringing. It is not irrelevant to point out that the dumb belief of some men that raising a child is solely the responsibility of a woman play a major role in the constant beef between both parties.

The gold digging attitude of some baby mamas causes rift. With the seductive prowess of women, they can get a man’s penis engulfed between their legs with the men begging for more. Everything comes clean when pregnancy sets in, men realize they have been taken advantage of, they develop resentment towards these women when they run an intel on them and discover they do not measure to their financial status and deliberately get pregnant to gain from their wealth (some of these women love genuinely though). Like it or not, a man will hardly love when he is forced to due to circumstances. The offspring suffer from the mistake surrounding his/her birth.

Public interference could also make both parties loose respect for each other due to rumours that on most occasion turn out to be false. For instance, a baby daddy might be in London and news outlets will report he is in Nigeria and when the baby mama tries to reach him so he can come see their child and she fails, he turns out to be irresponsible, the man will do same. Rumours break marriages talk more of people that do not have love for each other.

Conclusively, the trend of baby mamas and daddies will continue. There is no need offering suggestions on how to curb or end it, men will always be men and likewise women. I believe raising children and teaching youths how to be better parents will help men and women understand the role they both have to play in raising a child whether as man and wife or baby mama and baby daddy, it is nobody’s fault.